Slayers Christmas Song Parodies
by Pixie Pan
Summary: 'Tis the season, and that means it's time for Slayers Christmas song parodies! Sing along to "I Saw Xelloss Kissing Filia-mama", "Blue Zelgadis Christmas", "Slayers Wonderland", and more.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Notes:

Back in June, I stumbled across Ameria-chan's awesome _Mazoku Christmas Carols_ and laughed myself silly. So then I started writing a few of my own, and later expanded to some not-so-mazoku Christmas songs. I hope you enjoy singing them as much as I enjoyed writing them! ^_^

Disclaimer: I do not own Slayers or any of the original songs. This is just a parody done for fun and laughs. All of the songs take place in the Slayers universe, which is not really earth and does not have Christmas. Therefore, this is not intended to offend any Christians, other real humans, or um, dragons.

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**I Saw Xelloss Kissing Filia-mama**  
(Sung by little Val to the tune of _I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus_)

I saw Xelloss kissing Filia-mom  
Underneath the mistletoe last night.  
She blushed and turned all red,  
But she didn't smash his head.  
She didn't call him namagomi  
Like she always had.

Then, I saw Xelloss tickle Filia-mom  
And hold her to him ever so tight.  
Oh, how could anyone believe  
That this could ever be,  
Xelloss kissing Filia-mom last night.

(Instrumental)

Then, I saw Xelloss tickle Filia-mom  
And hold her to him ever so tight.  
Oh, what a shock it would have been  
If Lina had only seen  
Xelloss kissing Filia-mom last night.

Oh, what a shock it would have been  
If Lina had only seen  
Xelloss kissing Filia-mamaa laaast night!

o-o-o

**Blue Zelgadis Christmas  
**(Sung by Zelgadis to the tune of_ Blue Christmas_)

I'll have a blue Christmas this season.  
I have no cure, that is the reason.

Decorations of red  
On a green Christmas tree  
Won't mean a thing  
If there's no cure for me.

And when the townspeople avoid me,  
And when they whisper things about me,  
I'll be blue as my skin  
All because of my kin,  
And I'll have a blue, blue Christmas.

(Instrumental)

Decorations of red  
On a green Christmas tree  
Won't mean a thing  
If there's no cure for me.

I will be teased by Xelloss, that's certain.  
He will be pleased that I will be hurtin'.  
He will get a great, big feast,  
That annoying purple priest,  
But I'll have a blue, blue Christmas.

o-o-o

**Slayers Wonderland  
**(Sung by Lina to the tune of_ Winter Wonderland_)

Fireballs glow, bandits frying,  
In the air, spells are flying.  
A beautiful sight, those bandits in flight,  
Blasting through another bandit camp.

Left behind is their treasure,  
Lots of loot for my pleasure,  
Magic books of old, rubies and gold,  
Sifting through a blown-up bandit camp.

Gourry, let's go searching for a new sword,  
One that can replace the Sword of Light.  
We'll slay demons or another Dark Lord,  
Any that's dumb enough to test our might!

Later on, we'll grab dinner.  
A big buffet's always a winner.  
Triple portions to eat, just can't be beat,  
We're happy in our Slayers wonderland!

(Instrumental)

Gourry, don't you eat that final meatball!  
You know what will happen if you try.  
We will fight for every single morsel  
Until the plates are piled a mile high.

We'll find friends as we travel,  
Mysteries to unravel,  
New cuisines to taste, adventures to face,  
We're happy in our Slayers wonderland!

o-o-o

**Fear and Pain  
**(Sung by a bunch of mazoku imps to the tune of_ Jingle Bells_)

Fear and pain, fear and pain,  
Hate and grief abound.  
Oh what fun it is to see  
Destruction all around. Yay!

Chaos wins, order ends,  
No more peace on earth.  
Oh what fun it is to help  
Our Dark Lord gain rebirth.

(Sung to the tune of_ "Dashing through the snow..."_)  
Causing wars and strife,  
Corrupting kings and queens,  
Ruining human lives,  
What a lovely scene!

Deceive with tricks and guile,  
See how Xelloss smiles.  
How we love to celebrate  
This day in demon style! Oh!

(Back to_ Jingle Bells_)  
Looks like hell, scream and yell,  
Panic on display.  
Oh what fun it is to try  
To end the world today. Hey!

Dragons fall from the sky,  
Kill them, don't delay.  
Oh what fun it is to cause  
Such _mayheeemmm_ on Chriiistmaaaas daaaay!  
Hooray!

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Author's Notes: In _Fear and Pain_, I really wanted to say, "How we love to celebrate this day in _mazoku_ style!" but I found it harder to sing, so I ended up using "demon style".

Coming soon:  
* The Mazoku Christmas Song (_Chestnuts roasting on an open fire…_)  
* Slayers Home for the Holidays  
* A Champion of Justice (_A Holly Jolly Christmas_)


	2. Chapter 2

**A Champion of Justice  
**(Sung by you-know-who to the tune of_ A Holly Jolly Christmas_)

May your heart be filled with justice  
Every second of the year.  
Hearts that strong can do no wrong,  
So don't you have a fear.

Be a champion of justice,  
And you won't be led astray.  
Friends unite to help you fight  
And sweep evil away.

Pure hearts with justice glow  
Brighter than the sun.  
Burning your darkest foes,  
Sending them on the run!

So ally yourself with justice;  
Let it always guide your way.  
How wonderful it is to fight for truth and justice today!

o-o-o

**The Mazoku Christmas Song  
**(Sung to the tune of_ The Christmas Song, Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire_)

Dragons roasting on an open fire,  
Dungeons filled with wailing souls.  
Demons indulge in their darkest desires,  
And humans lamenting their woes.

Everybody knows some torture  
And a killing spree  
Help to make the season grim.  
Evil imps with their eyes full of glee  
Will laugh and dance as hope grows dim.

They know the Dark Lord's on his way.  
He's bringing lots of pain and terror and dismay.  
And every frightened soul will run and pray,  
And hope that Ceipheed's Knight will save the day.

And so I'm offering this simple phrase  
To imps from one to a-thousand-and-two.  
Although it's been said  
Many times, many ways  
Scary Christmas to you!

o-o-o

**Slayers Home for the Holidays  
**(Sung to the tune of _(There's No Place Like) Home for the Holidays_)

Oh, there's no place like home  
For the holidays.  
'cause no matter how far away you roam,  
When you pine for the sunshine  
Of a friendly gaze,  
For the holidays, you can't beat  
Home, sweet home.

I met a princess in Ruvinagold  
And she was headin' for  
Seyruun Kingdom for some soft-serve ice cream cones.

From Atlas City, folks are travelin' to  
New Sairaag's sunny shore.  
From Vezendi to Zefielia,  
Everyone's so glad to see ya!

Oh, there's no place like home  
For the holidays.  
'cause no matter how far away you roam,  
If you want to be happy in a million ways,  
For the holidays, you can't beat  
Home, sweet home.

I met a strange, mysterious purple priest,  
And he was headin' for  
Wolf Pack Island and his home on the astral plane.

A golden dragon girl is flying to  
Her shop called "Mace and Vase".  
Everyone is so excited  
To be home; they're just delighted.

Oh, there's no place like home  
For the holidays.  
'cause no matter how far away you roam,  
If you want to be happy in a million ways,  
For the holidays, you can't beat  
Home, sweet home.

For the holidays, you can't beat  
Hooome, sweeeet hooome!

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Author's Notes:

I had to rebuild Sairaag for this song. That poor town deserves a happy ending for Christmas. I have one more song, _All I want for Christmas is Zel, _but I will post it separately from this collection because it is sung by Xelloss, and that means I have to up the rating. ^_^;

Thanks for reading!


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